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Monday, March 31, 2003 |
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For those who are testosterone-filled and need some kind of adrenaline rush, Iraq must be a really cool place to be right now, what with all the bombs falling all over the place and lots of cool weapons all around. All the planes (trains?) and automobiles that can blow my ass up from 10,000 feet above. Then again, crawling through the desert eating sand isn't a nice prospect. I really feel sorry for the Iraqi people. Saddam really put them through some shit didn't he.
Watched "Rudy: The Rudy Giuliani Story" last night. Racist bastard. |
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1:47 pm |
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Friday, March 28, 2003 |
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Excerpts from today:
A WOMAN'S PRAYER
Dear Lord I pray
For wisdom to understand my man
Love to forgive him
Patience for his moods
Because Lord if I pray for Strength
I'll beat him to death.
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for
a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife.
So, next Saturday at 2:00 PM all Trinbagonian women
are asked to walk out of their house completely naked
to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for
this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position
themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to
prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they
think it's okay to see nude women other than their
wife and to show support for all Trinbagonian women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of
alcohol, a cold six-pack of Carib(beer) (I personally
prefer Stag) at your side is further proof of your
anti-Taliban sentiment.
The Trinidad and Tobago Government appreciates
your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your
participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Trinidad and Tobago!
IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON!
WOMEN FROM SEA LOTS AND BEETHAM ARE ASKED NOT TO PARTICIPATE!!
FedEx Dangerous Goods Service (excerpt from fedex.com/tt)
FedEx has the expertise to deliver more hazardous materials to more places than any other air carrier. Contact your local Customer Service Department for information and advice on labeling, packaging and regulations.
really now?
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3:13 pm |
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| I don't care about anybody but myself... |
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2:06 pm |
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Tuesday, March 25, 2003 |
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Ok I just spent the last 3hrs+ doing research for my Accounting Theory project. My eyes hurt from looking at the computer screen. If you're wondering about the lack of blogs of subtance, I seem to have developed some sort of Blogger's block. I just can't seem to start writing anything -- or typing that is. If you notice two of my last three posts had to do with vaginas. But that's not altogether a bad thing.
Four more weeks till finals and ppl are still having midterms as well as having to hand in these huge projects. I have my last midterm on Friday and then in the next two weeks I have projects. *steups* One would think that lecturers would have some sympathy or sense to think that midterms should at least be earlier so we won't be having a final exam for the same course three weeks later.
If you wanna be nostalgic, I too remember those days of buying a hundred doubles and fifty-twelve soft-drinks after school. Infact it was just last night while listening to some dancehall (if you must know: a remix to a number done by Sean Paul and Mr. Vegas that was originally on the StreetSweeper Riddim but has the same riddim as Shabba Rank's "X-Rated" -- "Well!! Competition afi gwaan cah we fuss...") I was remembering those days in 4th and 5th form when after exams those boys would bring their various music equipment and bombard "Eddie" with hardcore dancehall, tracks glorifying ganja and at least two versions of Lotay La. Oh how I wish I were a child again...
On another note, FUCK ARSENAL!! They're not gonna do the double again. I have the confidence? in Man U to take the league and as long as they beat Real, there's noone to stop them from getting the Champion's League too. (I hope) |
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10:05 pm |
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Rabin says: The other day I studying at the library so I see some writing on the desk. So it says "I am the vagina terrorist!!" "I hate bush!!"
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7:23 pm |
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Friday, March 21, 2003 |
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The most comprehensive vagina nickname list in the world!
vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded axe wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher's mitt, muff, roast beef curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, pink taco, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard's sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat,
poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle's doodle goes, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket,
spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuck pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken's tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog's mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man's charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil's hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., stench trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian's daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy's pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian's temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel's smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.'s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley,
revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richard's house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy
kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n' stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuck donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora's box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold
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1:47 pm |
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Thursday, March 20, 2003 |
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WAR!!
Yes I'm sitting in the middle of international war here. Yes folk, right here in Trinidad and Tobago. I'm stuck in a 30x20 room with 5 other ppl who are attempting some form of mediation for their intertwined soap operas. We all have our own little soaps, but this is getting to the point of being ridiculous now. Mind you, I'm not even a part of this -- I'm just an observer. Not even an observer, I'm just sitting here. Listening. Pretending not to hear their eulogies. Yes folks -- a eulogy has made it into the world of anger management and mediation. May your gods help us all... |
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1:32 pm |
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Monday, March 17, 2003 |
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| I have declined accepting the challenges of my life. Por ejemplo: academically. On a rare occassion have I really stood up to academic challenges. The only time I can recall doing that was for CXC. Now when it really matters I don't take it up. I had to get "buff" -- in the local parlance -- today to go study for a midtem which I'm getting a second chance at sitting for a course which I'm also repeating and is not offerred in summer. And so I did, but 'twas in vain. In the end, more than one will suffer... |
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7:34 pm |
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Friday, March 14, 2003 |
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| For the life and times of Grover... |
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4:20 pm |
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immortal beloved says: one of my rabbits just tried to do the other
realmagga says: ent rabbits always trying to do somebody?
immortal beloved says: is 2 boys
realmagga says: sooo... it's the 21st century you know
immortal beloved says: that was scandalous
realmagga says: lol i can imagine
immortal beloved says: i put in the horny one and left the other to play in the yard to get over the trauma
realmagga says: my gorm
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3:47 pm |
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Thursday, March 13, 2003 |
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Prostate Exam
Witty comments that can be used during prostate exams (that is, if you can actually be witty while someone's hand is up your rear):
1. "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me now?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincteriffic!"
5. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" (my favourite)
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
13. "Deflector shields: Down!"
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7:09 pm |
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Wednesday, March 12, 2003 |
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| Ah kinda tight after only drinking one XS. That does taste damn good. Screw beers yes, and I don't care how gay I look drinking it. And yes, it is worth the $12 or so. |
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7:18 pm |
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Tuesday, March 11, 2003 |
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I think this applies to those of us in UWI:
Yuh know yuh from North when:
... yuh not exactly sure where San Fernando is
... anything after Nestle is country
... yuh hobbies is surfing and spearfishing
... yuh cyar handle pepper
... yuh buy yuh driver's licence
... yuh never get blank from a club
... yuh father does go Coconuts
... yuh doh have ah sexual preference
Yuh know yuh from de East West corridor when:
... yuh push drugs at least once
... yuh does get yuh car parts from de Bamboo
... yuh know Sharlene Boodram personally
... yuh know all de Punch girls personally
... yuh father own a maxi
... yuh playin all fours since yuh four years old
Yuh know yuh from Central when:
... yuh have a hammock in every room in yuh house
... yuh biggest dream is to join a rock band
... yuh nearest neighbour livin three miles away
... yuh have ah autographed Chris Garcia poster
... yuh try drinkin rubbin alcohol already
... yuh tink Play Whe is de best ting dat ever hit Trinidad
... yuh feel Couva should be made a city
Yuh know yuh from South when:
... yuh get blank at least once from a club
... yuh still waitin fuh cable
... yuh "pull bull" on ah Friday night already
... yuh have chickens and goats as pets
... yuh always lookin to fight in ah fete
... yuh does still wear rubber slippers
... yuh believe Gulf City is de most happenin place
... yuh swim to school at least once already after a flood
Yuh know yuh from Tobago when:
... yuh forehead have dat "natural shine"
... yuh have ah aunt name Jean
... yuh does walk wit soap and shampoo to de beach
... yuh first choice was Signal Hill
... yuh sister is six foot tall
... yuh favourite food is KFC
... yuh favourite airline is Air Caribbean
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2:29 pm |
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Monday, March 10, 2003 |
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If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years when by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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3:34 pm |
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Thursday, March 06, 2003 |
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| Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of Miranda and I being a couple. [A couple of what? ;-) ] We did nothing special really. Went shopping. I finally found myself a pair of good Levi's so I bought them. Levi's 529 Low Rise Straight. I felt so relieved when I bought them -- I actually wore them out the door of the store. The people had to remove the tags with me wearing the pants. Extra careful. It was like a weight had been relieved from my shoulders. Although I was a bit afraid of the reaction I'd receive from that kinda pants. I found myself singing the chorus of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" to get self-confidence lol. Later in the night we went for pizza with a couple friends and then we ended up in this cool place in Chagauramas called The Bight. It's on the waterfront and we just sat there for like 20 mins or so. Twas great -- my kinda scene. That's the kinda UWI life I'd like to have, driving around and seeing places and doing things like that... |
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12:02 pm |
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Wednesday, March 05, 2003 |
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I think I was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms or something from not being anywhere close to a computer since like Thursday last week, how addicted I am to the internet. I missed blogging, but then again the quiet was nice. Yes the geekiness is slowly creeping up on me.
Finally it's over with!! The two day street orgy that began officially on December 26th last year is over with. I can't fathom how I could be horny 24-7 and not like Carnival. I mean what's not to like about half-naked women with fine asses grinding/gyrating on your crotch? Which straight man in their right mind wouldn't like that? Still, it's just not me. I don't know. So yeah, I stayed home and did nothing. I didn't go fete and get drunk and puke my guts out (visions of hugging a toilet bowl come to mind here) and piss in a Carib bottle and fuck in the bushes and get Aids/std's/pregnant (I can get pregnant?). I cleaned my sister's kitchen and trimmed the rose plant and looked at football, Jerry Springer and Elimidate -- that's what I did. And I'm proud of it too!!
As an aside, craving a good roti? And congrats Stef...sorry I'm not gifted with plastic as yet. |
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2:35 pm |
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