| Friday, November 28, 2003 |
|---|
| Birds, birds, birds. |
 There are literally hundreds of these little black noisy birds outside the library. The kind that swoops down and attacks you when they think you're too close to their nest. Apparently it's mating season; that's the only explanation. It's really a sight. Can you imagine what it would be like to be a bird? Speaking of which: the dodos in Ice Age were firetrucking hilarious!! I had a little argument with some people about which was better: Ice Age or Monster's Inc.?
Anywho, it rained alot today. It was real cold too. I got to my class after half of it was done. There were only four students there so I all I could do was correct last week's homework with them. That means I'm not gonna get paid for the time I missed. Damn. I really needed the money too. The wedding's eight days away from today. Woohoo!! Can't wait. It'll be a weekend of fun but I have my first exam two days after, and that bites. |
| 6:00 pm | | |
| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 |
|---|
| Un-fucking-believable!! |
| I kinda wasn't feeling to blog over this last week for whatever reason, not that I didn't have anything to blog about. But what happenned yesterday was just fucking unbelievable!! Arsenal went to the San Siro and just demolished Inter 5-1!!! Now if that's not fucking humiliating I don't know what is. Come on!! What the fuck was that about. Zanetti and Cordoba were taken to the cleaners by Henry. Still with football: Leeds is at the bottom of the Premiership and is destined to be relegated next season. How does a team with all that talent let that happen? That's two of my most favourite teams playing utter bullshit. But I hold on. I'm not one of those supporters who get angry and boo when things are bad. Speaking of which: Naps were knocked out of Intercol by Arima -- the same team that knocked them out of the Big 5 this earlier this year. And I hadn't been to see a single game this season.
I'm calm now...my sister's wedding is 10 days from today. Things weren't going very well apparently because the hotel manager was just giving her a big run-around and he didn't seem to take heed of her concerns. But things are ok now I think because she had a meeting with the owner yesterday which went well. So the wedding's still on in the same place. But there's nothing like poor service to generate really bad publicity. She's started packing and now coming to terms with just how much junk she really has; most of which she's not taking with her. I need to earnestly start looking for a place now cus I have exams in 12 days and after that I'm not gonna have the time to look while exams are going on. They end on the 23rd and I only have the place till the 30th. So there's only a four or five day window to get everything packed and out of there. Things aren't going well...and I missed the last episode of The Real World: Paris last night. There was supposed to be full frontal nudity. Tina is hot!! Oh, and now that Eid is over, it's gonna be a full Christmas attack from all sides. I fucking hate Christmas... |
| 6:46 pm | | |
| Real World Personality Generator |
| Your Real World Type: The All-American Guy
Your Official Real World Bio: On the track of the all-American golden boy, Sherwin is blessed with handsome good looks and the charm of an old movie star. Hailing from Port of Spain, Trinidad, Sherwin seems to attract the attention of every girl when he walks in to a room. Aside from his great body, his natural charisma seems to have girls flocking to him no matter where he goes. Sherwin makes friends easily and usually acts as the peacemaker in his circle of friends and family. He's far from just another handsome face--Sherwin is a man of integrity, intelligence and complexity. Paris Cast Member Most Likely to Identify With: Ace Paris Cast Member Most Likely to Hook Up With: Mallory Paris Cast Member Most Likely to Fight With: Fight? Unthinkable! Take the Quiz. |
| 6:30 pm | | |
| Tuesday, November 18, 2003 |
|---|
| Nothing important |
| This post is hilarious!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. The doctor explained, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day, the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. Excited to try this suggestion out, he ran home to his wife. When he got home, he noticed his wife in bed, naked and waiting on him. As the two got started, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well... when I fired the pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa." Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. About a month or two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy." The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation. Two weeks later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers. "God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy." This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he got home he appologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today." "You think you've had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled, "The gardener dropped dead in the garden this morning!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| 7:44 pm | | |
| Monday, November 17, 2003 |
|---|
| Wet, Sombre Weekend |
| It's been a wet weekend, but funny enough it's scorching hot outside right now. And the rain's bringing with it some stunning cloud formations in the evenings; some pinkish mixed with really dark gray colors (sorry I don't have pics). I think yesterday had the darkest clouds I have ever seen -- some were almost black. Luckily, I didn't get wet even though I have no umbrella and I hope I don't get sick from the little shower I got. It seems like most everyone has had/still has the flu lately.
Speaking of getting sick, two people I know recently died. One from liver problems and the other in a robbery. The robbery took place in a village about 2 minutes drive from mine. I know the man because he used to be a taxi-driver when I was still in secondary school. He was well known because he had a repuatation for driving by just when you desparately needed a car to get to school but he drived so slowly that you would think it would've been better to just wait a little longer. It was unfortunate because the bastards broke into his little house and demanded that he hand over the family jewels (the literal ones). His wife jumped through a window to get to a neighbour's house to call the police and by she got back, he was dead. It just goes to show that noone's safe. Not even me, when I think that my dad still doesn't even lock the door sometimes. The second person died yesterday morning of some liver problems I think. She was my eldest sister's ex-husband's sister-in-law (yeah it's a long relation, I know). But it's someone who if I saw would still say "hi" to even though I haven't seen her in a couple years. She has two children of university age, one of whom is at UWI. She was young too, just over forty. I can't fathom what losing a parent you're close to at this age is like. It kinda struck a nerve in my unemotional self. Still on some sombre news, this dude's mom found his blog. I don't know what I would do if any of my relatives found my blog, and all they had to do was a Google search for me. The kind of crap I post here would really put my Mom and Dad to shame. But screw that -- it's my life. I'm gonna read some more sex blogs. |
| 10:00 am | | |
| Wednesday, November 12, 2003 |
|---|
| Nothing |
| I have nothing really to blog about beside the fact that on Monday night I slept from 7pm till 7am Tuesday morning. Also I have a Financial management midterm tomorrow which I have not started studying for as yet, and I need to do some research for my Ecommerce project cus I'm falling behind. My sister needs to begin packing because she migrates to England in about a month. That means I'll have to help her too. If any of you haven never moved house before, you have no idea how stressful that is. And she's done it lots of times. Uh...Leeds finally fired manager Peter Reid and I think that thet should give Glen Hoddle a chance since he's out of work after being fired from Tottenham a few weeks ago. And Mark Viduka has ben given a reprieve from his huge fine after some bad behaviour. I'm happy that Barca is 4th in La Liga and that Inter's 5th in Serie A, even after their terrible starts.
I've been reading alot of Sexblogs this week. Read some True Porn Clerk stories. I'll leave you with a website that teaches you to beatbox and a little free file that spices up your folders. I think I'm going to do this a little more often. |
| 7:44 pm | | |
| Tuesday, November 11, 2003 |
|---|
| Games kids play... |
| I can't remember playing these kinds of games in school. Then again, I went to an all boys institution...
And men strike back!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. |
| 7:29 pm | | |
| Letter Writing |
| I needed to write a couple letters to the campus administration and my faculty office quite recently. Now Miranda and I apparently have two completely different writing styles when it comes to these sorts of letters. For example, her writing style might be something like this:
"Dear Sir/madam My name is is Miranda Bachowski ID#9999999 in the Faculty of Natural Law, reading for a degree in Sanitation Engineering. I am from Four Streams, Arimaville, Trinidad, West Indies, Planet Earth. I am an Aquarius and a conservative democrat (if there is such a thing). Last year, I got 12 A's and a B+. Now the course I got the B+ in, I think I can get a better grade if I resit the exam. Now the coursework was out of a total of 40% and the final 60%. Now the coursework had a component which was worth 1.5% which upon consultation with my lecturer, the President and the Pope, I would like to transfer to this academic year 200,003/200,013 and I would like for permission to do so. Failing that, I would gladly pay $12,000 to resit the entire year of courses. I can be contacted at 555-5555. In the event that I die before permission is granted, I have already picked out a plot at the local cemetery at which you can mail your reply. Humbly yours, Miranda Bachowski. Now this is how I would write such a letter: Dear Sir/Madam, Please save me. But first, allow me to transfer my coursework for MS39D Auditing Secret Government Agencies III from the previous academic year 2002/2003 to this academic year 2003/2004. And if you don't, there's a baaawwm on the bus. If you don't transfer my coursework, or if the bus goes over 55, it'll blow up. Humbly yours, Sherwin Popodoupolous. Anywho, I read in today's Express that a woman was beaten and "annointed" with some sort of spirit oil when she tried to complain about the noise that was coming from the church. I also read that Naps won south Intercol for the second year running now. Oh and I forgot to mention in Fridays' blog that I also went to the casino and one of the girls won over $300 and that's how we had cash to go drink so much. PS. This blog wasn't meant to offend anyone and is to be taken quite lightheartedly. |
| 1:50 pm | | |
| Friday, November 07, 2003 |
|---|
| Beautiful Day |
| Wow! What a day. I'm kinda buzzed right now. My 6th form Accounts class this morning wasn't too bad, although from next week I'll be going a little sooner and we'll be having 4 hours instead of two. It's a small class, but luckily they're all at the same level and I got to start from the beginning rather than taking over from someone else. [While I'm writing this, I'm also looking at Jenna Jameson's website, so excuse me please :-)] But enough about that; let's get to the good part.
I and some friends went to Grand Bazaar after lunch and got a little tight in Beer Garden. One of us even got tight on two Smirnoffs. lol. Wonder who that was?? Hmmm...Then we went to the bar outside campus and drank some more. Me and the two-Smirnoff drunk -- who insisted for the entire evening that they were coherent -- then went and got pizza in St Augustine and then went home. I also had what the locals call souse and what the foreigners might call disgusting, but it was great. My stomach's not burning or anything. Sad thing was though that there was no entertainment other than the coherent one. No hot girls to gape or no people fighting after getting drunk or anything. Tomorrow's gonna be a little tough cus I have 4 hours of teaching in the morning. 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk... 1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen." |
| 9:38 pm | | |
| Wednesday, November 05, 2003 |
|---|
| Bar Phrases (& Their True Meanings) |
| "You get this one, next round is on me."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next round is on you." (Happy hour is about to end... beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop, sucker.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you, but I want to get your attractive friend in a compromising position.) "What do you have on tap?" (What's cheap?) "I'll have a glass of house white." (Female) (I'm easy.) "I'll have a glass of house white." (Male) (I'm gay.) "I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Female) (I'm really easy.) "I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Male) (I'm really gay.) "Ever try a body shot?" (Female To Male) (If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?) "I don't feel well, let's go home." (Female) (You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.) "I don't feel well, let's go home." (Male) (I'm horny.) While you're at it, check out Smirnoff.com. |
| 7:21 pm | | |
| Tuesday, November 04, 2003 |
|---|
| Tired |
| I'm still looking for a place to live. I'm almost disinterested in the whole thing. These days I'm so tired. I fall asleep on the couch watching TV at 10. I get up at 8 the next morning. Sunday night I went to a friend's birthday shindig and reached home at 12.30. It was cool. I ate pigfoot souse, which I hadn't in a couple years. Nice and hot. I was too tired to get up and go to school for 8 in the morning so I just slept in. In a year or so I won't have that luxury, as my working friends tell me. Speaking of working, I've started teaching a new school in Chaguanas: POA and 6th form Accounts. Apparently the "principal" is impressed with me now cus I got the students to go up on the board. What gives? This class will be difficult though cus I deduced the children in this school aren't at the level that my former students were.
Last night, minutes after 8 I got to see the school doctor after waiting for over an hour. I needed to get a medical certificate since I missed last Thursday's exam. The doctor scolded me for turning up so long after the date, but I still got it. Hopefully everything is ok now. A month remains before I start to complain about final exams so brace yourselves. My long-time readers would have noticed that I haven't complained this semester about projects up my ass. Last semester was so horrible; it wasn't funny. And there's an idiot in the other stall: I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin Just Fine!" And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. Can I come over to your place after while? Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!" Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!" |
| 7:04 pm | | |
| Saturday, November 01, 2003 |
|---|
| Graduation Day |
| Today was supposed to be my graduation day. For obvious reasons it's not, but I'm not feeling anything about it. No nostalgia, regret, sadness. Nothing. I'm not pining away having to stand in a line for hours with that thing on. And I don't think I'm going to my own next year for those very reasons. It's just a piece of paper. Not even the real piece of paper. And the girls are made to wear white dresses, but the thing is that the gown is going to be worn for most of the evening anyways, so what's the point? What's with white anyway? It's not that any of them are still virgins :-) Ok so some of you are. But that's not the point. The point is, to go along with my other old-fartish ways, I am not attending graduation next year and I'm still not having any children. Goodbye. |
| 6:12 pm | | |